26 December 2008

He Cheated On Me

Why do people insist on monogamy? What is in us that makes us crave a singular person, and more importantly, demand the inverse? Is it just because of our indoctrinative upbringing or is it a human need? I know there are some people out there in the world that believe they can make polygamous relationships work, but they are an incredibly small number and honestly I doubt how stable the relationships are.

The point is not even for me to reinforce the importance of a one-to-one relationship, in fact if anything, it's the opposite. But as much as I personally believe in questioning social orders, a part of me feels that I too would expect a love that is dedicated and reciprocating.

Maybe the reason why people want their lovers to be 'faithful' (ew cringe I hate to use that word) is simply connected with their expulsion of energy. It takes physical and emotional motivation to make love--oh I'll just say 'have sex'--with someone, and maybe when you find that the other person has multiple sources for sexual satisfaction, you feel like, what's the point? Why should I waste my energy on you when you could get something similar to these efforts of mine from someone else? But no--that wouldn't make sense, because sex is a two-way thing, both people benefit so it's not like you're giving all this energy and emotion and not receiving anything in return.

Could it be an issue of authenticity? Maybe someone is turned off by thinking that he or she might genuinely 'love' someone else, and their affection towards you is false. But that's kind of pathetic, I mean, can't you really really love two people at once? You can, right? I think that might be possible.

The authenticity issue kind of plays into a jealousy issue as well. Maybe one person gets jealous that their partner is getting some from someone else and thus, getting more sex than they are? And maybe that makes them jealous? No... That's too simplistic. Okay a hypothetical situation--a couple (hetero homo whatever doesnt matter), and they like are all about each other, but both are also hooking up with someone else too. If they found out, which they would in this story I'm telling, would they be mad at each other? Both are getting the same amount of sex, both people really adore the--- this example is falling apart, I can't tell where I'm going with it. But maybe that just reinforces my conundrum: if you know you're not planning on spending the rest of your life with a person, then why are we all so obsessed with monogamy?

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